At last an update after so long....
I guess this is the only place for me to rant out and express my feelings...
Hearing you snore at this timing and suddenly thought about reading your past written posts in your blog...
..................... Im speechless zaidi...........
I wouldnt say im jealous nor anything.....
I dont know how to react even....
Reading your past written posts when you were with your ex, Raihana, was a touching and sad feeling for me.
I could feel your love for her how strong it was lastime when you were with her....
It was very strong....i could feel it when reading your posts...
A word to describe, it was "jiwang".
I tried so hard not to cry but i did after reading your past posts...
How i wish you love me as much as you love raihana last time....
How i wish u have treated me like how you treated raihana....
I feel shitty and teary...
WHY?? WHY?? AND WHY???
Why is zaidi not treating me like the way he treats his beloved ex....
Why????
Sedih seh sayang.....
At this hour i am crying...
I didnt expect you to be so jiwang last time....
I rasa cinta you terhadap i tak sedalam mana yang you lafazkan kepada i sayang...
....................
Setiap detik aku teringatkan mu....
Walaupun aku pulang setelah hantar mu pulang zaidi....
Hanya Tuhan saja yang tahu isi hatiku ini...
Kalau aku mati.... aku mahu kamu juga termasuk keluarga ku untuk mencium dahi ku and kebumikan aku sehingga habis ditanam....
Seperti yang engkau pernah lafazkan kepada raihana dahulu, "you are the only one sayang".
Aku pun seperti itu zaidi sayang....
Cinta ku pada mu murni....tak pernah sekali aku curang atau pun menggatal.
Aku tak sanggup dan tidak pernah terlintas walaupun aku marah dan disakiti oleh mu zaidi...
~~~~Siti Nur Alysha Zara Hamdan~~~~
